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The
Tale of Dorian Gray
Here's
one from an ad Cindy had placed... I'm starting to think that
EVERYONE thinks they look young for their age. I'm just waiting
to see an ad that states, "I'm 108... but I people tell
me I look 98!"
I
am a fifty-two year old lonely divorced white male.
Lorina:
There's a pretty description. Nothing more appealing than
a lonely person. Sometimes, I admit, it gets a little lonesome
coming home to just a cat, but I certainly wouldn't use that
as the first adjective to describe me. Pa-the-tic.
I
am five feet eleven inches tall and I have blue eyes and light
brown hair. I also don't look my age. Last night someone thought
that I was in my thirties, of course, I put that down to the
fact that lights were kind to me. Then the doctor at work
though I was in my early forties. I think that the substance
abuse problem in the medical profession is simply terrible!!
Of
course, I never tell people about the painting that I have
in my closet that shows my true age. I also watch what I wish
for around a statue of the Egyptian cat god Bast. Once was
more than enough. Thank god I didn't make that wish when I
was a teenager. Of course, at the time I was going by the
name of Dorian Gray. It was a terrible portrait.
Cindy:
OK! I get it, I get it! He thinks he looks younger than his
chronological age... So why say anything...I don't even mention
age in the ad. And if this guy is so young looking, why didn't
he send a pic?
I
am writing to you in reply to your BellAntlantic Net ad. I
must confess that I found your ad utterly fascinating and
found your photograph simply captivating.
Cindy:
I think this is a paste & copy reply...I wasn't in Bell,
of course, it was Excite..
Lorina:
I think the same ads get cross referenced by different sites.
I know it's in Erols and Excite and Hotmail, and probably
a few others too. I don't know about Bell, but it could be.
Although
I am well past the age constraints in your ad, I just had
to send you this short note to tell you that I am utterly
captivated by your beautiful smile.
Cindy:
Hints #2 and #3 about copy & paste - I don't mention age...and
besides, I wasn't smiling!
I
must confess that I am utterly entranced by red headed women.
To paraphrase Margot Heminway, "When I see a red hair
I drop five points on the evolutionary scale." Of course,
it might also be that the face that launched a thousand ships
was a red head. Yes dear lady, Helen of Troy was also a red
head.
Cindy:
Hey sap - my red hair comes in a bottle!!
Lorina:
Yeah, methinks it's a copy & paste, too. He probably writes
to only much younger red-heads. He probably has the hots for
the Little Mermaid.
Do
take care of yourself and may you find the soul mate that
you are looking for and may he bring you all the joy youseek.
Cindy:
Criikee! I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A SOULMATE!! You know my feelings
about that bulls--t....I may have to respond to this guy and
tell him his sappy crap might be more effective if he actually
read the ad he was responding to.
Lorina:
I got it! The awkward sentiment,
the age, the loneliness, the ridiculous trivia facts... This
is CLIFF CLAVEN from Cheers!
I'd
at least write him and question his copy and paste thing.
I don't think guys realize just how much of a turn off that
is. Here's a good test. Reply, but don't leave his message
in the response... No link to your ad. Since it's probably
a copy & paste, and he probably wrote to lots, he won't
know who you are, and will want a picture. The clever use
of "hello" as a title just ads to my suspicion.
Fondly
Darius
Cindy:
Is This The Guy from Hootie & the Blowfish?? - If so,
he DOES look good for his age!!
Lorina:
Oh, at first glance, I thought
it said, "Fondling Darius" which would have been
entirely different...
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