The
Italian Scallion
The
Italian Scallion: This could have been fun if the guy wasn't
old enough to be my older brother (but I think he's lying
about that... or just in a time warp), if he didn't seem
hung on himself (in a bad way, not in a good way, like us!),
was part of this decade, or even one not so long ago, and
if he could spell worth "ship."
Lorina:
translation: I'm stupid, my job doesn't pay well, so I
have several part time jobs,and I have no time.
I
have been around music most of my life and music will always
be part of me so I am glad you enjoy music. I am Italian,
WARNING!
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!!
I
have nothing against Italians, except that they all think
I'm Italian and want to take me to mee their Moms.
have
a full head of brown hair, my eyes change color from ble to
green and back again.
A
shapeshifter! I saw them on the X-files! Or perhaps he has
eyes like a mood ring. Very groovy, baby! But what color is
"ble." Doesn't sound very pretty. Bleh.
I
am 5'6" tall and am a stocky guy.
A
short stocky shapeshifter! The rarest of all!!!
NOW
if you can answer the following I would appreciate it:
I
usually fall for these type of things... I just love being
interviewed, I guess. Even if I never write back, I at least
like to answer the questions.
1.
Explain in detail your idea of a nice first date.
Here
is an unimaginative lazy man looking for ideas.
2.
If you were a car explain what you would be and why I should
buy you.
Said
in an Elephant Man voice, "I am not an automobile! I
am a human being!!!" Bub, if you have to work 3 jobs
just to get buy, you couldn't afford the payments
3.
If it weren't for sponges how deep would the oceans be?
Interesting
question. Along the lines of the "Why is everyone so
worried about the polar icecaps melting and it causing a flood?
If you have a glass of water filled to the rim with ice cubes
in it, and the ice cubes melt, the glass doesn't overflow."
or a Pinky & The Brain Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering.
I doubt this was an original thought.
4.
Who is Buckweat?
Oh,
I'm sorry, here's the "H" you lost. I wonder if
that's pronounced "Buck-wet."
5.
Can you name the four Marx Brothers? If so who are they?
Duh!
John, Paul, George, and Ringo. Uhm... Mickey,Davy, Peter,
Mike? Uhm... Larry, Curly, Moe, and.... Shemp? of course it's
Harpo, Zeppo, Chico, and Groucho, but Zeppo, while he was
one of the brothers, was not IN the Marx Bros.
6.
Is there such a person as Jethro Tull?
I
prefer Jethro Bodine -- Beverly Hillbillies. Jethro Tull hasn't
been on the charts since 1975 with Bungle in the Jungle...
Time to update your 8-Tracks!
7.
I am a very spontainious person, (and a wonderful speller!)
If we hit it off and decided to see one another and I phoned
you at 7pm on a Friday and said to pack a bag I was taking
you to a weekend blues fest. or Atlantic City for the weekend
and picking you up in an hour, when I drive up are you packed
and ready or pissed off?
I'm
packed and ready, but not to go out with you, you inconsiderate
jerk! Cosmo says it makes a girl seem desperate to accept
a weekend date any later than Wednesday. Cosmo, the magazine
that will tell you about a new fad diet, followed by a recipe
for sinful chocolate cake, then preach about being an independent
woman, then an article for "how to catch a man."
But, OOOOH! ATLANTIC CITY!!! Everytime I've been there, all
I've seen is senior citizens. I think this guy fits right
in. The Ripley's Believe it or Not museum is cool, though.
8.
Have you seen the Godfather? If so how many times?
Don't
think I ever sat and watched the whole thing in one sitting.
This sets off more DANGER DANGER alerts. Italian. Likes Godfather.
Methinks this guy is a Wiseguy, a Goodfella.
9.
If you were an animal what would you be and why?
Who
said I'm NOT an animal, baby! Grrr. Very Grr.
10.
Can you tell me the nick names of these two people:
Terrance Allouwishes Mahoney
Horris DeBusey Jones
Well,
they're probably some kind of jazz musicians, but I'm sure
Terrance was often called Terry. I wonder if Horus was nick-named
"Hor."
11.
Have you laughed at any of these questions yet? and if so
which ones?
Too
busy laughing at YOU!
12.
What was Speed Racers girlfriend's name?
Who
cares? How old are you? Why does this matter?
13.
If I cooked you a delicious Italian dinner would you sit and
enjoy it or worry about what the kitchen looked like?
WH-WH-WHATTT???
What do I care? I'm sure as hell not cleaning!!! Yeah, I'm
growing SPORES in my kitchen sink, and I'm going to worry
about HIS kitchen?
14.
I'm a Cancer does it matter to you?
Is
that your zodiac sign, or are you a tumourous growth that
multiplies at an abnormal rate?
15.
What was Abraham Lincon's mothers name?
L-I-N-C-O-L-N!
Learn to spell! How old IS this guy?? Did he go to school
with her or something?
16.
Have you ever done anything like this in your life?
Like
what? Make fun of a dip? Yes, daily!
17.
Explain in detail your most embarissing moment of your life?
I
have never been "embarrissed." I have been embarassed,
I have even had a bare ass, but I have never been "embarissed."
What kind of cruel person would want me to not only relive
painful memories, but TELL him about it, in detail!
18.
what was the name of the dog on the Littlt Rascals?
Not
sure about the "Littlt" Rascals. I think Buttweat
was in it. As well as Spankme, Alpha-beta, Sporky (a bizarre
caffeteria utensil!) and some little girl that was a whore.
But the dog? Uh... Stripe? LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! I
wonder if he even owns a color tv.
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