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The
Renaissance Fair-y
Ok,
ok... I know there's a lot of people out there who like Renaissance
Fairs, and lots of people who like sappy shit like this, BUT...
Any dumbass who responds to an ad from an admittedly sarcastic
girl which reads "I don't fall for sappy romantic catch
phrases..." deserves what he gets.
Lorina: New line to add to the ad... "Please, no one
who frequents Renaissance Fairs."
Frequent?
More like "Freak went to the fair."
Subject:
"...enticing curiosity..."
More
like "...enducing vomitting..."
Ok,
maybe this Shakespeare crap worked... like... 400 years ago!
*...a
silent breeze plays across your body...feather-kissing your
skin in sensuous, silken whispers...and, a shadow slips from
the darkness, kneeling humbly before you...then, a voice,
warm and inviting, beckons from his ethereal lips....*
*a
silent shudder crept through her abdomen... tingling her stomach
in queasy, quivering motions... and, a wretch slips from her,
kneeling humbly before the toilet.... then, a vomit, warm
and stinky, hurled from her ethereal lips...*
Alas,
you've piqued my curiosity! I was exploring Classifieds 2000,
and having ventured upon your stunning resume', was immediately
captivated, and equally enchanted by your stunning graces.
Please allow me a measure of your time to introduce myself...
Alas...
I'm only reading this to find out just HOW MUCH of a wanker
this guy is!
I
am an equally down-to-earth soul who relishes in basking in
nature's awe and splendor, and am often found hiking, climbing,
spelunking, bicycling,and exploring every facet of this vast
planet, unearthing all the mysteries that abound... and, surely,
you pose quite the alluring mystery, indeed!
So
much material... SPELUNKING??? While I am fond of the word,
something tells me this guy hasn't been "cave diving"
in an awfully long time!
*slipping
his hand into the shadows that abound, he retrieves a lavender
rose, and gently places it at your delicate feet*...a token
of my endearment... though, I fear it pales before your beauty...a
beauty that truly mirrors your soul...
*slipping
her finger down her throat, she regurgitates her breakfast,
a bagel with cream cheese, and gently pukes at her delicate
feet* ... a token of just how nauseated I am by this man,
though, I fear it pales before just how much of a fruitcake
this guy is!
Please...
stop talking about my soul. I'm a heartless, evil, soul-less
person.
I
merely opted for the hopeless romantic approach...*smile*
Hopeless
romantic? Naw... this guy's just hopeless.
Cindy:
To be honest...I had great difficulty even reading this or
wanting to read this....It was like reading the BIBLE....
Get
with the times Romeo...this doesn't cut it!
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