|
Nice
Friendly Perv
I
am going to grab you by the scuff of your necks and remind
you of the weirdos that are out here in cyberland... This
was a response to one of Cindy's ads.
Date:
Mon, 15 Nov 1999 14:53:36 EST
Subject: Greetings and Salutations
(Pulls
up a seat, takes out a 20 oz. Diet Coke [My favorite soda])
Hi!
My name is Brian. I saw your want ad on Snap.com and figured
I would reply. I'm 27, 5'11" 217 Lbs., Brown eyes and
hair, I've got a little bit of a stomache
Cindy:
I think this is French for beer belly...
but
the rest of me is an average body.
Cindy:
damn, I was hoping for an above average body part or two...shucks!!
There
are alot ofou say in your profile that match up with myself.
I currently work as a Help Desk technician at Panasonic, but
am in the middle of a job search to better my financial position.
Cindy:
Ok, so far so good....relatively normal...but alas, me thinks
this is going to sour soon...
I
am also into creativity, and towards that end I love to act.
As such, I have managed to get into a live action role playing
game where I adlib characters on a weekly basis. Its a lot
of fun, and so far I have played about 6 different characters
that all had very distinct and different personalities.
Cindy:
Oh...role playing games...now there's a great past time...Does
this guy think this is going to impress me? That he's the
male version of "Sybil"??
I
am a movie and video addict. If its on tape, I'll see it eventually.
I have a video collection of over 600 tapes of all different
genres. Due to space constraints and the fact that my TV is
starting to go south, I have a horrible setup. I aspire to
one day have my own IMAX video screening room ;)
Cindy:
So stop wasting your time on those damn role playing games,
go out and get a new freaking television, you retard!!
I
like a lot of the musicians you have listed, and haven't had
that much experience with others. I am always happy to hear
new music, especially if it turns out to be pretty good. I
am a dancing fool, and as such, have been getting more and
more into Disco, House, Techno, Acid and Trance music. I have
probably close to 200 cds. I intend to make my own compilations
soon, as I now have a cd-rom burner.
Cindy:
Dancing fool? At first, I thought of those two guys from
SNL - Night at the Roxbury or whatever...not good...I mean,
I dig dance music...And if I have enough alcohol, I'll dance
to pretty much anything...but...
I
like your comment about Titanic, (Ed. Note: Cindy's ad commented
on how not liking sappy stuff like Titanic & Julia Roberts
movies.) I noticed the same exact thing, he either should
have gotten on with her, or found another piece to float on.
But my favorite part of the movie is the guy who falls off
the boats as it starts its final decent, and slams his knee
on the propellar. That had to hurt!
Cindy:
Ok, safe to say that bloke died...I think he hit more than
his knee...
To
address your dislikes, you list two that can sort of overlap,
which is Pervs and Hurtful people, but don't always. For this
reason, I am about to shoot myself in the foot trying to explain
why I am making this distinction. I have to be perfectly honest,
I am a Perv.
Cindy:
speaking in a Gomer Pile voice....SUR-PRISE, SUR-PRISE!!!
I
am not a hurtful Perv, though. I am a friendly, lets just
try something new and have some fun Perv. I have a dirty mind,
I love x-rated films, and love sex in general. A lot of the
things I will watch on video, I could never do in real life.
They appeal to me visually, but the thought of actually doing
them in some cases is disturbing. I do my best to keep sex
interesting, but I am not looking to hurt, harm, and debase
anyone.
Lorina:
I'm certainly no prude, and I've seen a few dirty movies
in my lifetime BUT just what the hell is this guy watching
that would be so disturbing to do in real life???? In any
of them I've seen, aside from the orgy grand finale, it's
been pretty much just straight, normal sex. Perhaps a bit
more vocal than your average person, and a bit more gymnastics
than some people could do, and I could certainly live without
some of those camera angles & closeups, but nothing
that would really be all that disturbing. I think this guy
might be into some really freaky stuff!
Cindy:
ANY reference to sex of any kind in the very first email
is a no-no. His comment about not looking to hurt, harm...yada,
yada...comes across as...I'm not looking, but if I can,
ALL THE BETTER!!
Lorina:
Yeah... we can automatically delete anyone who mentions
the following words in the initial response: sex, marriage,
relationship, make love, renaissance fair, role-playing
games, my wife, my ex-wife, wants children, wears velvet,
golden showers, whips & chains, foot fetish, I likes
Barbra Streisand, three-some, and any references whatsoever
to knights and ladies fair.
(Note:
That's "we" -- referring to Cindy and me. NOT
EVERYONE ELSE. So don't complain to me that you like this
stuff. It's just OUR opinions for our own lives.)
To
sum up, I love movies, I go almost every Friday with my friends
to see movies on their opening nights. I'm a fun loving guy.
I don't do flea/markets or auctions that much, but if you
do, you might have run into my dad, or my step-mom at some
point or other, they both sell antiques and glass, and occassionally
even old toys at them.
Lorina:
Oh, wouldn't THAT be peachy! "Hey! I just met your
son on the internet? Did you know that he's a PERV? Don't
worry, though, he's a friendly, lets just try something
new and have some fun Perv. He'd never think of doing the
stuff he watches in his 600 XXX movies!"
I
look forward to hearing from you one way or the other. If
you like my profile and picture, e-mail me at ___________.
If not, e-mail me anyway to tell me to bugger off or whatever.
If you want, I have three Pictures of me and I have a scanner
that I am trying to get working, so I may have more soon.
E-mail me to get my photo, because the registration here is
acting weird and won't let me make a profile.
Cindy:
Me thinks I may email him just to get the chuckles from
the pic...whattya think, kids???
Lorina:
That's why you should either get a yahoo or hotmail account.
This jackass might still have instant messenger, even if
he's not on aol. But it would be awfully funny to see his
picture. Maybe he'll be in one of his characters!
|
