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Local
Guy
Well,
this guy lives in my hometown. No wonder I looked to the internet
to find interesting people.
let's see, my name is mike
and i live with three small furry creatures named Pittipaws
Puddenhead and Kitty kitty.
Lorina: Ok, I love my little Sheba
(MEFF!), and I'm wary of guys who dislike cats [Hitler, Caesar,
& Napoleon hated cats...], but I just have to worry about
a guy who would actually name his cats those names.
Fritz: Didn't we go over this
once before? A guy with ONE cat might be normal. A guy with
2 cats is bordering on FRUITCAKE. A guy with 3 cats is a dork.
Wait! He never mentions CATS...maybe he has a hamster, a rabbit,
and a guinea pig? Maybe he even has a Llama, a baby Harp Seal,
and a Wild Boar?
Lorina: This is a good point...
I guess it was making a wild assumption that a pet named Kitty
Kitty would be a cat. *IF* it's a dog or something... that
might be quasi-cool. (Like my idea for a dalmation named "Stripe.")
I had a guy (a MARRIED guy, no less) write once, and his e-mail
address was Schmookiepuss. Then he went on to explain that
it's his dog's name.. yeah, like that sweetens the deal.
After thinking
about it a little more... I too live with three small furry
creatures... I call them tomato, cheese, and red pepper...
and they live in my fridge. Good thing tomorrow's garbage
day.
Cindy:
By the way...Do I want to know how deranged a gal is if she
has MPS? (multiple pussy syndrome....and yes I am talking
about CATS...)
Fritz: Probably not. Ask me when
I'm drunk. There is no way I'm gonna tell you I think you
are a nutcase when I'm sober. See ya this weekend! Don't hurt
me, ok? I'm fragile.
Cindy:
Now don't go gettin' "Fritz-sterical" on me...Not
only do I acknowledge the fact that I am a nutcase, and have
the papers to prove it, I am PROUD of it...Besides...it's
not the crazy people who admit they're crazy people that cause
the problems....It's the crazies who THINK THEY'RE NORMAL
ya gotta worry about. Don't worry about this weekend...you'll
have a blast...
I'm 31 approximately 5'
8.75" tall (I'm short enough that i still count the fractions)
Lorina: Then why didn't he just
round up to 5'9? I've got a good eye for measurements, but
I doubt I could tell if someone were lying by 1/4 or an inch!
(I can tell what size a picture frame is from across a crowded
flea market.)
around 200lb with red hair
and beard.
Lorina: Can you picture ANYTHING
but a Leprechaun? They're always after me Lucky Charms!
Fritz: I had a mental image of
one of those Russ Trolls until you mentioned the Leprechaun.
i have a fairly muscular
build but could stand to drop a few pounds however at this
stage in my life i'm not real fond of sweating on purpose.
Lorina: Not a bad line, but this
would leave out that nasty dirty sweaty howl at the moon sex
that Cindy so eloquently described.
i love camping,
Lorina: At this stage in my life,
I prefer to sleep on mattresses... with walls and floor and
ceilings.
Fritz: A Leprechaun Boy Scout.
and riding my motorcycle.
Lorina: Cuz I just LUV them bikers!
Fritz: Hell's Angelic Leprechaun
Boy Scout
the only foods i dont like
are liver and beets(mainly due to their unnatural color and
the horrible beet incident of 1972).
Lorina: A very weak attempt to
be interesting... brings to mind:
I like chicken
I like liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix
Please Deliver...
Fritz: Hell's Angelic, Picky,
Leprechaun Boy Scout
i like most kinds of music
especially pink floyd, but i also like jazz, blues, new age
and a little country although i pretend i hate country.
Lorina: Someone who feels he must
hide his true thoughts and feelings... not good.
Fritz: Hell's Angelic, Closet-Redneck,
Picky, Leprechaun Boy Scout
Lorina: It's the closet-redneck
thing that bothers me... I prefer to say away from ALL men
who are in a closet. Especially if there's a velvet coat in
it.
i have a pretty warped
sense of humor but until people get to know me they usually
think i am the serious type.
Lorina: Have you EVER met anyone
who didn't think they had a good sense of humor? "Hi,
I'm bland and predictable... don't expect me to ever make
you laugh. I'm dull."
Fritz: Hell's Angelic, Closet-Redneck,
Picky Doofus, Leprechaun Boy Scout
i dont usually talk about
it but i am highly intelligent with a lot of common sense.
Lorina: Same as above -- "Hi,
I'm really really stupid. My age is higher than my IQ. I have
no common sense whatsoever. I like to stick pointy objects
into electrical outlets."
Fritz: Hell's Angelic, Dishonest,
Closet-Redneck, Picky Doofus, Leprechaun Boy Scout
i love to do my own mechanical
work on my car or motorcycle when i can although it seems
i don't always have the time anymore.
Lorina: I prefer someone whose
vehicle doesn't NEED extensive work.
Fritz:
Hell's Angelic, Dishonest
Grease Monkey, Closet-Redneck, Picky Doofus, Leprechaun Boy
Scout
i never finished college
because i was just too immature at that time in my life and
had no idea what i wanted to be when i grew up. someday i
plan to get my degree but for now i am pretty successful at
what i do.
Fritz: Hmmm...no comment here.
That sounds alot like me. Poor bastard.
Lorina: I think Jen's the only
person I know that really 'went all the way' and finished
college.
Ok, we're
all past that college age here... Show of hands: How many
of us know what they wanna do when they grow up??? .....Other
than taking over the world as an evil dictator.
Fritz: Shoot. There's always a
catch.
Lorina: Lori's & Fritz's hands
go down.
i live in the ______ area
Lorina: That explains it.
Fritz: No comment here, either.
I don't want to burn any bridges BEFORE I cross them. *wink*
but travel extensively
throughout the lehigh valley for business purposes.
Lorina: Ah, the booming metropolis.
Fritz: Hell's Angelic, Pompous,
Dishonest Grease Monkey, Closet-Redneck, Picky Doofus, Leprechaun
Boy Scout
anyway i've rambled long
enough, you seem like a pretty fascinating women and sound
like a lot of fun.
Lorina:
This
is becoming another peeve... "You SEEM like a fascinating
woman." "You SEEM intelligent" "You SEEM
attractive." I *AM*!!!!!
Fritz: Hell's
Angelic, Pompous, Dishonest Grease Monkey, Closet-Redneck,
Picky Doofus, Leprechaun Boy Scout who just shot himself in
the foot.
i think it will come through
with my message but if it doesn't my email address is ______.
Lorina: And that, my friends, is
why I don't place ads saying I'm from _____.
Fritz: Sorry, pal. We have some
wonderful parting gifts for you!
Lorina: How about the Rice-a-roni?
Maybe just that old stand-by: Ramen Noodles -- 8 packs for
a dollar! Or the "Let's Date Lori Home Game" --
would that be a brunette blow-up doll?
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