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Humble
Beginnings
A
Golden Oldie! I believe this is the very first of the e-mails
to have gotten completely ripped apart by the J Crew (Jonn
and Jen) and I. Others were forwarded, and commented on, but
THIS is where it really all began. Ah, nostalgia...
eye
jest luv hou peeple saiy their lucking four sumone inteliegnt
than mispel tuns ov werds and dont youse eny punktuatian or
kapitalized anithing
hey
now...nice pic
Jen:
Always good to butter up a prospective lay. LOL, you know
that's what he's thinking.
Jonn:
now I'm curious as to whether I thought that way or not when
responding to L's post.... *scratching head* I think I was
just laughing too hard.... aha!! but the word "hard"
did just sneak in there... what does that mean??? hmmmmm...
here's
the rundown.
Jonn:
My parents went away on a week's vacation, and... they left
the keys to their brand new Porsche.... oh wait, that's "OK,
here's the SITUATION"....
26yr.old,
5'11 150lbs. good looking not desperat in the least.
Lorina:
and a spelling bee champ!
Jonn:
Saying that you're NOT desperate is the best way of proving
that you are... kinda like the phrase "Better to keep
quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak and prove yourself
one."
Jen:
I'm with Jonn on this one, Lor. And doesn't 150# sound really
skinny for someone who's almost 6' tall? Does he look like
the singer from the Black Crowes?? ::shudders::
Jonn:
gee, but he's sooooooo talented..... and maybe he's normal
size, but just missing an arm or two... those things can quickly
drop you down a good 20-30 pounds, ya know...
Intelligent,
have not ime for dummies.
Lorina:
good way to prove it!
Jonn:
IME for Dummies?? Is that like all those other "....
for Dummies" books that are out there now?? and why does
he hafta tell us that he doesn't have that book by using Yoda
Speak?? sheesh....
Jen:
Look, you must, into his brain. There lies the real "Dark
Side." But his statement begs the question, who really
does have time for dummies? Is there some guy out there, more
pathetic than this guy ::gasps:: who perhaps stands on a median
somewhere bearing the sign "Will chat dummies for food"?
Outgoing,
i work 9-5 with computers so i'm interested in people when
i get home not the internet.
Lorina:
So, insulting me already, eh? That's a great way to talk to
the web developer who lives, sleeps and breathes computers.
I
read alot. You think your a nerd eh?...i read every day after
work
Lorina:
Cat in the Hat? One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish?
Jonn:
Try Hooked on Phonics.... or breakfast cereal ingredients.
Jen:
In this day & age, who doesn't work with computers 9-5?
He could be a clerk at Burger King for all we know. They use
computers 9-5. And no, no, no, you two have got his reading
material all wrong. Most likely reads the Playboy centerfold's
likes & dislikes while jerking off in the bathroom.
Jonn:
ya know... I was gonna throw in the Playboy bit, as in "I
read it for the articles", but then just decided it was
TOO easy... not that you're not an amazingly brilliant woman
for coming up with that yourself, Jen... *lol*
Lorina:
Scary thing is... Playboy DOES have really good articles...
I'd take that over Cosmo anyday.
I
have many interests.
Lorina:
I'm sure!
Jonn:
I have absolutely no interests whatsoever in anything.
Jen:
Great response, Jonn. LOL Lori, the only interest he has is
trying to get into your pants.
Jonn:
*taking a bow* thank you.... it's kinda like saying "I
breathe". who the hell DOESN'T??
Lorina:
Uh... Is that who doesn't have a lot of interests, or who
doesn't want to get in my pants???
I
am curious what you are looking for.
Jen:
A chimpanzee. Wearing a tutu. And my set of lost keys.
You
say not anykind of relationship
Lorina:
I didn't say that... I said I'm not NECESSARILY looking for
a boyfriend. There's a difference.
Jen:
MORE YODA SPEAK! JOY!
yet
you've got a classified add?
Lorina:
That's "AD."
What
kind of relationship would you be interested in?
Lorina:
I just want you to impregnate me.
Jonn:
There's just really nothing I can add (or wait... is that
AD?) here... Lori's response rules... *lol*
Jen:
Awesome response, Lori. You should have sent just that back
to him just to get a reaction. Should send his ass running
for the hills.
Jonn:
more like running for your HOLES, if you get my drift
What
are you looking for in a guy, don't say what you already said?
Lorina:
big dick, lotsa money, fast car
What
things are important to you?
Lorina:
big dick, lotsa money, fast car
what
do you do for fun?
Lorina:
big dick, lotsa money, fast car
what's
your idea of a funtime with a guy/date?
Lorina:
big dick, lotsa money, fast car
Jonn:
So Lori.... what are ya trying to say?? Guess I'm out now.....
my car only goes 90 MPH... =P
Jen:
Lori, I'm with ya on this one. Rock on, chica.
I'll
tell ya straight up
Lorina:
Paula Abdul??
Jen:
oh-oh-oh! Or are you just having fun?
...not
interested in email buddies, got plenty o'freinds.
Lorina:
What's a "freind?"
Jonn:
Isn't that the new non-alcohlic beer they keep talking about??
Jen:
This guy is blatantly lying if he says he has plenty of friends.
And what's with the Irish o' thing? I like to have tons o'
fun with my mountain o' friends o' course...o' not.
Jonn:
I just think it's a whole lot o'bullshit...
I'm
interested in meeting a worthy female.
Lorina:
I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!
Jonn:
and I'm sure you're interested in meeting his ego.
Jen:
Oh please, can I give you a blow job after I make you dinner?
Jonn:
OK. You twisted my arm.
If
the chemistry is not there i say lets not beat around the
bush.
Lorina:
If the chemistry IS there, let's beat around the bush!
Jonn:
Bush should be beaten no matter what... that band is AWFUL!!
Jen:
Incidentally, you should check out DVDA's song "Fuck
that Guy from Bush"--DVDA is South Park creators' Matt
Stone & Trey Parker's band. The only bush he's beating
is his own.
Jonn:
Oh man... I definitely gotta hear that one.... gimme, gimme!!
I
cherish my free time.
Lorina:
Oh, gee, and I was going to have you knit me an afghan, change
my kitty litter, detail my car, and give me a pedicure!
Jonn:
Do you take this free time, to have and to hold, to love and
cherish, 'til death do you part??
Jen:
"Come to the Dark Side, Luke, give
in to your anger. Khoo-khee, khoo-khee." "I sense
good in you yet, father." Zyoom-zyoom-vbbbt-zyoom. It's
always good to throw in gratuitous SW sequences when all else
fails.
Jonn:
I hafta admit... I'm quite impressed with your light saber
sound effects... or were you just having phlegm problems??
I'm
also in a band.
Lorina:
Of what? Gypsies? Rubber Band? Band-Aid?
Jonn:
wow. wish *I* could be that cool. =) My initial thoughts with
that are, "I must try and cover up for the fact that
I am devoid of personality, so I'll just mention that I'm
in a band.... chicks love musicians." but hey - that's
just me... I wait until the SECOND email to spring the musician
bit....
Jen:
::squeals obnoxiously:: God, Lori, I just love musicians!
I'll bet it's Ricky Martin in disguise...he wants to show
you his vida loca.
Greg
ps. can't send pics through hotmail classified s cuz i don't
have an ad would send you the only one i have if you sent
me a better one of yourself
Lorina:
I believe that's a run-on sentence.
Jonn:
Lessee.... two for him and just one for you??? sounds like
the guy's a real great lover.... very attentive to all your
needs.... *lmao*
Lorina:
You're just saying that because you sent FIVE pictures...
Hmm.. So, uh, Jonn... when do you want to meet?
Jen:
He'll be singing "O Solo Mio" in his band. I'll
betcha cash money he's working as an apprentice to 'Stanky
and the Coalminers.' Hold me back.
Jonn:
Hey now!! Stanky had some great tunes during his day!!!! How
dare you tarnish his name like that!!!
Lorina:
Some might say "Stanky" wasn't such a great name
to start with...
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